Another Crazy Dream

This was written on June 13, 2011, at 11:13 AM. This also does not have a word count since this was also written as a diary entry.

So, I just woke up from the craziest and/or strangest dream. I can't recall all of the details of it, and I blame the dream on the test I took yesterday (in which it asked about dreaming and I answered that I usually have dreamless sleep) and having had to work at Char's reception this past Friday.

In my dream, the four of us were home and Chris and his girlfriend were over to chat with us. I was sitting on the desk chair, the both of them were sitting on the couch (his girlfriend was sitting closest to me), Dad was in the bathroom doing something, Sarah was in her bedroom doing something, and Mom might have been sitting in the rocking chair. Anyway!

His girlfriend and I start talking about their relationship. She says something and I ask that if the relationship is serious enough that it must be coming to a proposal soon. She ends up with a grin on her face (I don't recall the look on Chris's face). I ask either how long they've been in a relationship or how long she's known him (I don't remember which). I think she said since 1999 to which I think Chris replied with something like, "In your dreams."

Within a couple of minutes, she says something that starts to anger me. She says something to me and adds "Mother F'ing B" to the end of it. That does it. I am off of my chair in a split second and I attack her. I start slapping her with both sides of my hands. I hit her so hard that my slaps would rival that of punches. Eventually, we land on the floor because she's struggling to get away from me and I won't let her. Everyone comes out to see what is going on and they just stand there in shock.

Eventually it stops. I let Peyton out still angry. I come back in and I hear someone say that she needs to go to the hospital. She is quickly taken outside (I think by Chris). I just stand in front of the desk chair with every one's eyes on me. Someone (possibly Chris) says that his girlfriend has a black eye. Chris makes his round of hugs and comes to me last. I don't remember what he said to me but I do remember that when he was hugging me, I wasn't hugging him back. I looked at Mom and I could see that she was trying to hold back laughter from what she had seen me do to his girlfriend. I collapse against Chris because I just want to fall onto my knees over the shock of what I had done. Chris hangs onto me and slowly lowers me onto my knees with him. My face is against the front of his shoulder, breathing in and out, wanting to cry, body shaking in shock.

And then? It's over. I wake up. I could not believe what I had done in the dream. I am still in a little shock. So, apparently, do not mess with me.

Char's Wedding

Written June 11, 2011, 1:06 AM. This does not have a word count because this was to be a diary entry but then I decided to just put it on my blog because that might be faster.

So, Pa and I finished Char's wedding a few hours ago. It was quite...different. We mostly played love songs from my computer as background music. But, before I can talk about the dance, I must start at the beginning.

At one point when the guests were arriving, Dad, Chris, and his girlfriend were talking in front of the booth. I saw him holding hands with her and I just wanted to cry. I was starting to get tears in my eyes. I wanted to go out to the Jeep and start crying my eyes out.

During Char and Leon's dance, Chris was standing behind the booth. Well, I wanted a clear visual of Char and Leon so I ended up standing next to Chris. And I ended up mouthing the lyrics because one of my favorite songs (if not the favorite) was being played as a first dance.

When we started playing the slow songs, I watched as Chris asked his girlfriend to dance and they danced. I think that, throughout the night, I constantly wondered if he was going to ask me for a dance. Eventually, he asked me for a dance.

When he asked if I wanted to dance, I told him that it was up to him. He told me something to the extent of, "Come on." When we moved towards each other, I didn't know where to place my hands. Do I wrap my arms around his neck? Do I place my hands on his shoulders? Do I place my left hand in his right and have my right hand on his shoulder? Eventually, it got to be my left hand on his shoulder and my right in his left. If I recall, we danced to "Don't Know Much" by Aaron Neville and Linda Ronstadt. But I may be mistaken. Towards the beginning of the dance, I happened to glance over to where Annette was sitting and Uncle David and Dad were standing. Both men had cameras! And Sam had a video camera (at least I think it was a video camera) and was capturing me and Chris on film! I think I was so embarrassed. Chris and I talked about it being my senior year in college. We also talked about my major and minor. He even mentioned that we were wearing the same colors of clothing: red shirts, black pants, and black shoes. And then... It was over.

During the rest of the night and Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight," I continuously wanted Chris to ask me to dance. Unfortunately, it did not happen.

I remember that, at a couple of points, Chris came to me for rescuing from Sam and Abby. Dad, Chris, and I were standing behind the booth. Abby came up and was trying to talk to Chris. I leaned down and told her that she needed to go by Annette because there were too many people behind the booth. She turned around and left. Chris thanked me and told me that the bigger one was worse. I also remember that, when I was behind the booth working on music, Chris came up to me and laid his head on my shoulder and proceeded to pretend to be snoring. I think that I said something to the extent of, "You better not be tired," or something like that.