Written on September 29.
Well, I was right about saying that I would most likely cry again when I watch Roman die. I finished watching the show on Tuesday. As soon as it was getting the last episode or two before Roman and Deniz go to the beach, I think I started crying at almost every moment (specifically when Roman collapses or something). When Roman said, "This is a good day to die," I started to cry. And then when Roman and Deniz were at the ice rink, obviously I cried. And all of the episodes that followed (including the latest one that was posted on YouTube on Monday or Tuesday) I cried. I probably spent a good half-hour, hour, maybe even up to an hour and a half just crying.
I am surprised that dad did not come in and ask what was going on. I was gasping for breath; I was crying out loud I think; and I kept sniffing. When I went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror, my eyes were puffy and my nose was red. I was surprised that dad or Sarah did not ask anything.
I cried when everyone cried; I cried when everyone watched their DVD that Roman had made for each of them; I cried when Roman (on the DVD) cried; I cried when Deniz went to the very spot on the beach that he and Roman had went; I cried all over the place.
I have already downloaded two videos on Deniz and Roman. Which reminds me... I watched the video where the people who play Deniz and Roman talked about Roman's death. The guy who plays Deniz said that in real life, he keeps himself separated from anything that has to deal with death. When the video showed them having to redo the scene, the guy either said s*** or f***. I do not remember which. I will tell you this: For being an actor who keeps himself away from death, he did an excellent job in portraying the emotions of Deniz. And I do not blame him. Because when I was getting off of the bed, I was like, "And this is why I don't want anything to do with death," or something like that.
It is very sad to know that Roman died and Deniz is all alone in the world. I am kind of really hoping for an early death for Deniz that way he could be with Roman. Like I have been saying in my other blogs: They really do deserve each other. They belong together. And they love each other very, very, very much.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Alles Was Zählt
Written on September 27
So, the latest with me and Alles Was Zählt is that I am in the 1,200 episode range. I think around 1,228 or so. I got so far in one day because about one hundred episodes were missing.
I saw the episode where Roman tells Deniz that he has a brain tumor. But before that, in the episode I finally got to start watching again (after the huge break), I found out that Deniz slep with some lady. Roman broke up with him, and Deniz moved out. So anyway, Roman collapsed and was taken to the hospital. When he got back to his office, come to find out, he has a tumor. Actually, you do not find out what happened to him until he tells Deniz. As he is trying to tell him, he is crying. When he finally tells him, Deniz is in shock. End of the episode.
At the beginning of the next epiosde, Deniz cries with Roman, and they hug each other. And then later on, Roman says that he can't stand Deniz being there (in the flat (Deniz moved back in so that he could watch over Roman)). Deniz gives Roman the key and shuts the door (which is locked). You see (and Deniz hears) Roman collapse onto the floor. After a minute or two trying, Deniz busts open the door and gets Roman to sit up. Roman starts to cry and tells him that either he does not want to die or he is scared to die to which Deniz responds by holding him. End of that episode. Trust me when I say that I was crying when Roman and Deniz were crying. I gasped whenever I would see Roman start to lose his balance.
I hope that Deniz and Roman get back together before Roman dies. I think that I am going to cry again when I see Roman die. I just with that they would have told each other that they love each other rather than Deniz being like, "It's okay. It's going to be all right," over and over again. I mean, it is almost the same exact thing as Jack and Ianto. Ianto told Jack that he loved him and they talked about Jack remembering him or not. With Deniz and Roman, it was not said at all. Just that everything was going to be okay.
Oh, which reminds me, yesterday, when I was in class before it started, I watched clips from the last episode in which it shows Florian. When he was talking to the funeral home manager and when Florian was upset at parts, I was crying. I was crying at school!
But back to Deniz and Roman... Like I said, I hope that they get together before Roman dies. They deserve each other after all of the crap that they have been through (cheating, someone having to leave for work, et cetera). Especially now that they need each other. Roman deserves it. He deserves to be with Deniz one more time.
So, the latest with me and Alles Was Zählt is that I am in the 1,200 episode range. I think around 1,228 or so. I got so far in one day because about one hundred episodes were missing.
I saw the episode where Roman tells Deniz that he has a brain tumor. But before that, in the episode I finally got to start watching again (after the huge break), I found out that Deniz slep with some lady. Roman broke up with him, and Deniz moved out. So anyway, Roman collapsed and was taken to the hospital. When he got back to his office, come to find out, he has a tumor. Actually, you do not find out what happened to him until he tells Deniz. As he is trying to tell him, he is crying. When he finally tells him, Deniz is in shock. End of the episode.
At the beginning of the next epiosde, Deniz cries with Roman, and they hug each other. And then later on, Roman says that he can't stand Deniz being there (in the flat (Deniz moved back in so that he could watch over Roman)). Deniz gives Roman the key and shuts the door (which is locked). You see (and Deniz hears) Roman collapse onto the floor. After a minute or two trying, Deniz busts open the door and gets Roman to sit up. Roman starts to cry and tells him that either he does not want to die or he is scared to die to which Deniz responds by holding him. End of that episode. Trust me when I say that I was crying when Roman and Deniz were crying. I gasped whenever I would see Roman start to lose his balance.
I hope that Deniz and Roman get back together before Roman dies. I think that I am going to cry again when I see Roman die. I just with that they would have told each other that they love each other rather than Deniz being like, "It's okay. It's going to be all right," over and over again. I mean, it is almost the same exact thing as Jack and Ianto. Ianto told Jack that he loved him and they talked about Jack remembering him or not. With Deniz and Roman, it was not said at all. Just that everything was going to be okay.
Oh, which reminds me, yesterday, when I was in class before it started, I watched clips from the last episode in which it shows Florian. When he was talking to the funeral home manager and when Florian was upset at parts, I was crying. I was crying at school!
But back to Deniz and Roman... Like I said, I hope that they get together before Roman dies. They deserve each other after all of the crap that they have been through (cheating, someone having to leave for work, et cetera). Especially now that they need each other. Roman deserves it. He deserves to be with Deniz one more time.
Deniz & Roman
Written on September 27.
So, yesterday (and this morning) I was having heart attacks left and right when I was watching Alles Was Zählt. One of the biggest things that gave me a heart attack was when Roman's old flame from ten years ago showed up and things progressed from there.
Yes, Roman kissed and slept with the guy. He was even sleeping with the guy before Deniz went to New York for a photo shoot! And then Deniz walked into the flat after getting groceries (he had been back for a couple of days) and saw Roman and the guy kissing. Roman's cheating devastated everyone. Especially Deniz and Roman. Deniz ended up kicking (well, actually, literally shoving) Roman out. Marian (Deniz's father) was mad that his would-be future son-in-law cheated on his son.
Whenever any of their friends or Marian saw Roman and/or the guy (especially Roman), they would ignore them. If they wanted something to eat or drink, the person would practically throw it down in front of them. One example is with the guy and Annette. He went to her fry stand and asked for some fries. She nearly threw it at him. Even when he asked about ketchup and napkins, she nearly threw it at him. Because she knew he was stealing Roman from Deniz.
At one point, when Deniz told Roman that it was over between them, Roman was in the men's locker room and in walks the guy. Well, obviously you know what is going to happen. As Roman (whose shirt was off and pants were undone) playfully crawled away from the guy (whose shirt was either partially or all the way undone and his pants were undone), in walks Deniz and Marian. The look on both Marian and Deniz's faces was pure murder. They were so ticked that I thought they were going to punch Roman and the guy. When Deniz stepped forward, I thought that he was going to kick Roman in the stomach because he was still on the floor. Instead, he spat on him. When I saw that, I was quite shocked.
And then Deniz was so mad at Roman that he (Deniz) slept with some guy. The following morning, he was afraid he might have gotten AIDS from the guy. Roman had stopped by the flat and it also scared the crap out of him when he was told. But he was still there for Deniz. When Deniz and Marian found out that the tests came back negative, Deniz left to go find Roman. When Roman saw Deniz smile, they ran to each other. The look on Roman's face when they were hugging was pure relief, like, "Thank you, God. He's all right." And then, in a moment of pure bliss, and forgetfullness, Deniz kissed Roman. Then he was like, "I'm sorry." And then they ignored each other.
And then at this wedding, they looked at each other (they were sitting on opposite sides of the aisle)! And at the reception, when Roman was getting ready to leave since there was no point in him staying since he was not going to dance, Deniz appeared and held out his hand for Roman to take. Well, let me just say that when they kissed, Ingo, Annette, and Vanessa jumped for joy. So, Deniz and Roman made up! I am so happy for the both of them!
When Roman was screwing the guy, I always kept on saying, "Don't do it, Roman. Don't..." And then when he did, my breath always caught because he was cheating on Deniz. At several points, I was like, "Why don't you just dump Deniz, huh?" Why don't you just go riding off into the sunset with this loser!" When he talked to Annette, he said that he loved both Deniz and the guy. And then I had this interesting one-sided conversation with Roman. I told him that when someone loves somebody else, they do not go and cheat on that person, even if they are gone for several days.
Plain and simple, what it comes down to is that I am happy that they are together!
So, yesterday (and this morning) I was having heart attacks left and right when I was watching Alles Was Zählt. One of the biggest things that gave me a heart attack was when Roman's old flame from ten years ago showed up and things progressed from there.
Yes, Roman kissed and slept with the guy. He was even sleeping with the guy before Deniz went to New York for a photo shoot! And then Deniz walked into the flat after getting groceries (he had been back for a couple of days) and saw Roman and the guy kissing. Roman's cheating devastated everyone. Especially Deniz and Roman. Deniz ended up kicking (well, actually, literally shoving) Roman out. Marian (Deniz's father) was mad that his would-be future son-in-law cheated on his son.
Whenever any of their friends or Marian saw Roman and/or the guy (especially Roman), they would ignore them. If they wanted something to eat or drink, the person would practically throw it down in front of them. One example is with the guy and Annette. He went to her fry stand and asked for some fries. She nearly threw it at him. Even when he asked about ketchup and napkins, she nearly threw it at him. Because she knew he was stealing Roman from Deniz.
At one point, when Deniz told Roman that it was over between them, Roman was in the men's locker room and in walks the guy. Well, obviously you know what is going to happen. As Roman (whose shirt was off and pants were undone) playfully crawled away from the guy (whose shirt was either partially or all the way undone and his pants were undone), in walks Deniz and Marian. The look on both Marian and Deniz's faces was pure murder. They were so ticked that I thought they were going to punch Roman and the guy. When Deniz stepped forward, I thought that he was going to kick Roman in the stomach because he was still on the floor. Instead, he spat on him. When I saw that, I was quite shocked.
And then Deniz was so mad at Roman that he (Deniz) slept with some guy. The following morning, he was afraid he might have gotten AIDS from the guy. Roman had stopped by the flat and it also scared the crap out of him when he was told. But he was still there for Deniz. When Deniz and Marian found out that the tests came back negative, Deniz left to go find Roman. When Roman saw Deniz smile, they ran to each other. The look on Roman's face when they were hugging was pure relief, like, "Thank you, God. He's all right." And then, in a moment of pure bliss, and forgetfullness, Deniz kissed Roman. Then he was like, "I'm sorry." And then they ignored each other.
And then at this wedding, they looked at each other (they were sitting on opposite sides of the aisle)! And at the reception, when Roman was getting ready to leave since there was no point in him staying since he was not going to dance, Deniz appeared and held out his hand for Roman to take. Well, let me just say that when they kissed, Ingo, Annette, and Vanessa jumped for joy. So, Deniz and Roman made up! I am so happy for the both of them!
When Roman was screwing the guy, I always kept on saying, "Don't do it, Roman. Don't..." And then when he did, my breath always caught because he was cheating on Deniz. At several points, I was like, "Why don't you just dump Deniz, huh?" Why don't you just go riding off into the sunset with this loser!" When he talked to Annette, he said that he loved both Deniz and the guy. And then I had this interesting one-sided conversation with Roman. I told him that when someone loves somebody else, they do not go and cheat on that person, even if they are gone for several days.
Plain and simple, what it comes down to is that I am happy that they are together!
School On No Sleep
Written on September 26.
So, I am currently at school working on no sleep. Although I did at least close my eyes for about twenty-five minutes. I have been up since about noon yesterday and it is a little after ten in the morning. I was on the verge of falling asleep in Photography.
Why was I up so late? Why am I still up? Well, I can't answer that first question because I have not gotten any sleep. I can answer the second question easily. I am still up because of school! And I can answer an extra question of what has kept me up. And what has kept me up was Alles Was Zählt.
Yeah, when I got up yesterday, I was on episode 901. And there were things that kept me from continuing to watch it. Things such as going to Martin's for groceries, stopping at Leon and Char's to see how she was doing, a shower, et cetera. So, I figured that 950 would be my goal before going to bed. Well, then it was 970, 980, et cetera.
It still continued to 7:15 or 7:20 this morning with episode 1,018, I think. So, I watched over one hundred episodes and that is my goal before going to bed. Well, at least on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays it would have to be cut short (probably fifty episodes).
So, I am currently at school working on no sleep. Although I did at least close my eyes for about twenty-five minutes. I have been up since about noon yesterday and it is a little after ten in the morning. I was on the verge of falling asleep in Photography.
Why was I up so late? Why am I still up? Well, I can't answer that first question because I have not gotten any sleep. I can answer the second question easily. I am still up because of school! And I can answer an extra question of what has kept me up. And what has kept me up was Alles Was Zählt.
Yeah, when I got up yesterday, I was on episode 901. And there were things that kept me from continuing to watch it. Things such as going to Martin's for groceries, stopping at Leon and Char's to see how she was doing, a shower, et cetera. So, I figured that 950 would be my goal before going to bed. Well, then it was 970, 980, et cetera.
It still continued to 7:15 or 7:20 this morning with episode 1,018, I think. So, I watched over one hundred episodes and that is my goal before going to bed. Well, at least on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays it would have to be cut short (probably fifty episodes).
A New Show
Written on September 23.
So, three days ago, I discovered a new show. I was watching music videos about Blay and Qhuinn. Well, someone used the show Alles Was Zählt. And, being the curious person I was, I went to YouTube and found the kisses between Deniz and Roman (the video maker used them to portray Blay and Qhuinn). Not purposely found but accidentally. Obviously, I watched it. Then, I had to watch the episodes. Well, some scenes from almost every episode. I started with the episode around 250 because that was when Deniz showed up. I have been watching scenes between the both of them. But of course there were some things (such as a death or a kidnapping) that caught my attention for a minute. But I would go back to my search on Deniz and Roman. Oh, and I kind of cheated by watching the "end" first. "End" is in quoutes because even though the show is not over, it is for me. It is because I saw Roman die of a brain tumor. And yes. I did cry. So, this is how I have been working my way through the series: watch videos on Blay and Qhuinn, watch the kisses between Deniz and Roman, watch Roman die, and go back to the "beginning" of the series to see how their relationship started.
Somewhere within the first few episodes, after Roman gave Deniz a kiss, Deniz kept saying that he was not gay. It made me automatically think of Ianto. I thought (just like Ianto explained to his sister) that maybe Deniz is straight, but it is Roman. "It's only him." Aaaand whenever I see Deniz and Roman kiss someone else, I automatically say, "Don't do it! Don't you dare!" Yes, I will continue to watch it all the way up to the "end." I want to see if (more like when since I do know they get back together) they get back together because they remember the times when they were together and you can see that they are jealous when they see each other with someone else.
So, what does being on 701 in three days mean to you? To me, it says, "She is really into finding out what is going on!"
So, three days ago, I discovered a new show. I was watching music videos about Blay and Qhuinn. Well, someone used the show Alles Was Zählt. And, being the curious person I was, I went to YouTube and found the kisses between Deniz and Roman (the video maker used them to portray Blay and Qhuinn). Not purposely found but accidentally. Obviously, I watched it. Then, I had to watch the episodes. Well, some scenes from almost every episode. I started with the episode around 250 because that was when Deniz showed up. I have been watching scenes between the both of them. But of course there were some things (such as a death or a kidnapping) that caught my attention for a minute. But I would go back to my search on Deniz and Roman. Oh, and I kind of cheated by watching the "end" first. "End" is in quoutes because even though the show is not over, it is for me. It is because I saw Roman die of a brain tumor. And yes. I did cry. So, this is how I have been working my way through the series: watch videos on Blay and Qhuinn, watch the kisses between Deniz and Roman, watch Roman die, and go back to the "beginning" of the series to see how their relationship started.
Somewhere within the first few episodes, after Roman gave Deniz a kiss, Deniz kept saying that he was not gay. It made me automatically think of Ianto. I thought (just like Ianto explained to his sister) that maybe Deniz is straight, but it is Roman. "It's only him." Aaaand whenever I see Deniz and Roman kiss someone else, I automatically say, "Don't do it! Don't you dare!" Yes, I will continue to watch it all the way up to the "end." I want to see if (more like when since I do know they get back together) they get back together because they remember the times when they were together and you can see that they are jealous when they see each other with someone else.
So, what does being on 701 in three days mean to you? To me, it says, "She is really into finding out what is going on!"
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Torchwood Christmas Videos
Written on September 17 or 18.
Once again the holidays are upon us, starting with Halloween next month. Followed by Thanksgiving and Christmas. And I want to talk about the Christmas holiday.
Last night, something brought me to remember Christmas was coming up, so I was like, "I am going to have to make a Christmas CD." As I was pulling music together, I remembered the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. And I found out that they are going to be in the Chicago area in December so I talked to mom about getting tickets. Eventually, I was able to order the tickets. I think that dad is going to have a heart attack or kill me when I give him the tickets. I am so excited to give him the Trans-Siberian Orchestra tickets as an early Christmas present and the Blue Man Group tickets at Christmas. I also can't wait to see mom's face when she gets her Paula Deen kitchen set.
So, anyway, as I was finding stuff on TSO, I was listening to Christmas music and "Santa, Bring My Soldier Home" by The Stunners was playing. Listening to it, I realized that it could be from Ianto's point of view because Jack is gone (between seasons one and two) and Jack is also a soldier. Okay, well, he claims to be. But that is besides the point!
I downloaded TSO's "The Christmas Attic" CD and I was going through the songs. When I got to the songs "The Music Box" and "The Snow Came Down," I realized that they could be Jack and Ianto's points of view. I went with "The Music Box" for Ianto because he gave everything for Jack and he loved him. And as the song feels, he still loves him, even though "their relationship did not work out."
When I listened to "The Snow Came Down," I also knew that it would be for Jack because he is alone, he lost Ianto because "their relationship did not work out," after all these years, he still loved him, and finally, after all those years, "they walked away together."
So, I have two songs (one happy and in love, the other sad) for Ianto and one song (sad with a happy ending) for Jack. I want to find a happy and in love song for Jack but I can't! So, I will have to ask dad.
So, what it comes down to is that, when I am on Christmas break, I am going to make four more videos for Jack and Ianto!
Once again the holidays are upon us, starting with Halloween next month. Followed by Thanksgiving and Christmas. And I want to talk about the Christmas holiday.
Last night, something brought me to remember Christmas was coming up, so I was like, "I am going to have to make a Christmas CD." As I was pulling music together, I remembered the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. And I found out that they are going to be in the Chicago area in December so I talked to mom about getting tickets. Eventually, I was able to order the tickets. I think that dad is going to have a heart attack or kill me when I give him the tickets. I am so excited to give him the Trans-Siberian Orchestra tickets as an early Christmas present and the Blue Man Group tickets at Christmas. I also can't wait to see mom's face when she gets her Paula Deen kitchen set.
So, anyway, as I was finding stuff on TSO, I was listening to Christmas music and "Santa, Bring My Soldier Home" by The Stunners was playing. Listening to it, I realized that it could be from Ianto's point of view because Jack is gone (between seasons one and two) and Jack is also a soldier. Okay, well, he claims to be. But that is besides the point!
I downloaded TSO's "The Christmas Attic" CD and I was going through the songs. When I got to the songs "The Music Box" and "The Snow Came Down," I realized that they could be Jack and Ianto's points of view. I went with "The Music Box" for Ianto because he gave everything for Jack and he loved him. And as the song feels, he still loves him, even though "their relationship did not work out."
When I listened to "The Snow Came Down," I also knew that it would be for Jack because he is alone, he lost Ianto because "their relationship did not work out," after all these years, he still loved him, and finally, after all those years, "they walked away together."
So, I have two songs (one happy and in love, the other sad) for Ianto and one song (sad with a happy ending) for Jack. I want to find a happy and in love song for Jack but I can't! So, I will have to ask dad.
So, what it comes down to is that, when I am on Christmas break, I am going to make four more videos for Jack and Ianto!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
September 11, 2001: Ten Years Later
Ten years ago, the United States of America had the worst attack on its soil since Pearl Harbor on December 7, 1941. Since then, the country has moved forward while many of her people continue to remember while few seem to have forgotten.
I remember that September 11, 2001 started out as every ordinary day starts out. I was in sixth grade and only twelve years old. I got up and got ready for school while the sun was shining and I was listening to U93 on the radio. I remember that the announcer said that a plane had crashed into a building. Well, with how young I was, and just like everybody else in the country, I thought that it was an accident. I thought that it was one of those single-engine planes (like a crop-duster) that had crashed into a single-story (or a two-story) building at least. I went to school with Sarah (who was ten at the time) and it was an ordinary day. School was in session; History, Math, Science, and all other courses were being completed; lunch was normal; and so was recess.
Getting home, I vaguely remember mom sitting down, dad must have been standing, and I believe I sat down on the edge of the couch or chair and just watched as one of the towers (probably Tower 1) come down. I think that we just sat there, and sat there, and sat there. When Bush came on that night, we all sat around the TV to watch him make his speech. I will never forget that day.
Friday, I watched Nightly News with Brian Williams. During it, there was a video about all of the states (at least the Continental U.S.) getting a piece of the Twin Towers. On Saturday, I watched the United Flight 93 Memorial. Today, I woke up to the last half of Miracle of Stairway B on the History Channel. I continued to watch the channel all day. The only time I didn't was when mom, dad, and I went to see them bring in our piece of the Towers (although the piece is being set in Elkhart). After that, we came home, and I turned on the TV to continue watching the History Channel until the very last episode.
While waiting to see the piece of a Tower, I told mom and dad that even though I am only twenty-two, I have been able to see history being made in my life. And I told them that I saw the attacks (though not personally) occur, heard that Osama bin Laden had been killed, and that a piece of a Tower was making its way past us. Dad said that I saw two leaders get killed and I was like, "Who?" He said bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. I was like, "Ohh." I had forgotten that Hussein was killed. I think that I will see more history regarding terrorism being made before I die.
9/11: Never Forget
I remember that September 11, 2001 started out as every ordinary day starts out. I was in sixth grade and only twelve years old. I got up and got ready for school while the sun was shining and I was listening to U93 on the radio. I remember that the announcer said that a plane had crashed into a building. Well, with how young I was, and just like everybody else in the country, I thought that it was an accident. I thought that it was one of those single-engine planes (like a crop-duster) that had crashed into a single-story (or a two-story) building at least. I went to school with Sarah (who was ten at the time) and it was an ordinary day. School was in session; History, Math, Science, and all other courses were being completed; lunch was normal; and so was recess.
Getting home, I vaguely remember mom sitting down, dad must have been standing, and I believe I sat down on the edge of the couch or chair and just watched as one of the towers (probably Tower 1) come down. I think that we just sat there, and sat there, and sat there. When Bush came on that night, we all sat around the TV to watch him make his speech. I will never forget that day.
Friday, I watched Nightly News with Brian Williams. During it, there was a video about all of the states (at least the Continental U.S.) getting a piece of the Twin Towers. On Saturday, I watched the United Flight 93 Memorial. Today, I woke up to the last half of Miracle of Stairway B on the History Channel. I continued to watch the channel all day. The only time I didn't was when mom, dad, and I went to see them bring in our piece of the Towers (although the piece is being set in Elkhart). After that, we came home, and I turned on the TV to continue watching the History Channel until the very last episode.
While waiting to see the piece of a Tower, I told mom and dad that even though I am only twenty-two, I have been able to see history being made in my life. And I told them that I saw the attacks (though not personally) occur, heard that Osama bin Laden had been killed, and that a piece of a Tower was making its way past us. Dad said that I saw two leaders get killed and I was like, "Who?" He said bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. I was like, "Ohh." I had forgotten that Hussein was killed. I think that I will see more history regarding terrorism being made before I die.
9/11: Never Forget
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