The End of Deniz and Roman

Written on September 29.

Well, I was right about saying that I would most likely cry again when I watch Roman die. I finished watching the show on Tuesday. As soon as it was getting the last episode or two before Roman and Deniz go to the beach, I think I started crying at almost every moment (specifically when Roman collapses or something). When Roman said, "This is a good day to die," I started to cry. And then when Roman and Deniz were at the ice rink, obviously I cried. And all of the episodes that followed (including the latest one that was posted on YouTube on Monday or Tuesday) I cried. I probably spent a good half-hour, hour, maybe even up to an hour and a half just crying.

I am surprised that dad did not come in and ask what was going on. I was gasping for breath; I was crying out loud I think; and I kept sniffing. When I went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror, my eyes were puffy and my nose was red. I was surprised that dad or Sarah did not ask anything.

I cried when everyone cried; I cried when everyone watched their DVD that Roman had made for each of them; I cried when Roman (on the DVD) cried; I cried when Deniz went to the very spot on the beach that he and Roman had went; I cried all over the place.

I have already downloaded two videos on Deniz and Roman. Which reminds me... I watched the video where the people who play Deniz and Roman talked about Roman's death. The guy who plays Deniz said that in real life, he keeps himself separated from anything that has to deal with death. When the video showed them having to redo the scene, the guy either said s*** or f***. I do not remember which. I will tell you this: For being an actor who keeps himself away from death, he did an excellent job in portraying the emotions of Deniz. And I do not blame him. Because when I was getting off of the bed, I was like, "And this is why I don't want anything to do with death," or something like that.

It is very sad to know that Roman died and Deniz is all alone in the world. I am kind of really hoping for an early death for Deniz that way he could be with Roman. Like I have been saying in my other blogs: They really do deserve each other. They belong together. And they love each other very, very, very much.