I had another crazy dream earlier. Of course I was going to write about it after I got up but I ended up not doing it. So, of course, it was about me and him.
Let's see. There was a date to go see a concert (I think a school concert. Possibly at the high school.), a ride on the moped, and Dad, Leon, and I think Sarah and Char standing and sitting in a kitchen (ours or theirs?) when we returned. That's all that I can recall. But I do remember that I quite enjoyed myself going out on a date with him.
I bet that dates all around the world tend to be good. I think that I would like to go out on a date with anyone as long as I would be able to enjoy myself. I would bet that a date with him would be good. Well, at least, I hope that it would be good. I just hope that I would be able to enjoy myself when I'm with him. I also hope that we wouldn't get into an argument like we always did when we were around each other or when we were chatting on MSN Messenger. A date is supposed to be good, fun, exciting, all of the positive words that are out there.
Well, it's not like I would be going out with him anyway. No matter how much I wanted to be with him and the once-in-a-while regrets I have.
Well, that's that! Nothing else. I just wonder what a date would be like.
Yes, I know. I know that I am 22 years old and I have never been on a date so don't start with me!
Monday, December 19, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
Trans-Siberian Orchestra ROCKED!!
As you know, I purchased Trans-Siberian Orchestra tickets for Dad back in late September or early October. When I got the tickets, I waited for Mom to get home so that she could see his reaction when I gave them to him. I recorded his reaction. I just have to put it on a computer (probably mine).
On Saturday, December 3, 2011, Mom, Dad, and I went to Rosemont, Illinois to see TSO at the 3:00 P.M. (4:00 P.M. our time) show. I was so excited when it was the last week before the concert. On Friday night, I burned the "Christmas Eve & Other Stories" CD and added "Wizards in Winter" and "Requiem" to it. As soon as we left home and up to Rosemont and down to Aunt Lynn's and on the way home, we listened to both CDs ("Christmas Eve & Other Stories" and "The Christmas Attic") over and over again.
They played "Wizards in Winter," "Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 14/24," "Ornament," "Old City Bar," "Requiem" (with the music video playing on the screens), A Mad Russian's Christmas, and others that I know that I am forgetting. But still! At the beginning, they played a song that I never heard before but thought that it was awesome. Yesterday, when I looked for the song, it took me up to an hour to find it. When I found it, I could not stop listening to it. I am currently listening to it! The song is "Who I Am." There was another song that they played that I have never heard before. It was "Someday." It was sung by a woman and after it was kind of slow, it totally became a rock song.
The lights were so awesome. The laser screens, the lasers, the lights, the catwalk... All of the lights were awesome. Sure, at some parts it blinded you but it was totally worth it! I was afraid before the concert that throughout it all, Dad would be like, "Look at that light. Look at this one," rather than enjoying the thing.
And at the end of the songs at the beginning, Dad was only clapping. And I was thinking, Great. I spent $400 on tickets for TSO and he doesn't like it. But then when he first hollered at the end of one of the songs, I was like, Whew! Thank goodness! He is enjoying it! I didn't spend $400 on tickets. It was more like $365 but you get the idea.
Getting through Chicago was chaotic. It was backed up for a long time. Mom was complaining about it and I'm just sitting there while taking photos and not complaining because I knew that we would be going to go see TSO. After the concert, as we were driving past the Allstate Arena, Dad asked Mom if going through all of that traffic was well worth it. She said something and I thought, That doesn't answer his question. Then he said that it doesn't answer his question and she said yes.
After we left the Allstate Arena building, Dad said that it was one of the best Christmas presents he had received while he wrapped an arm around me to hug me because we were walking and he was holding onto Mom. I was so happy to hear that he quite enjoyed it. I am also glad that Mom quite enjoyed it herself.
When Dad told Aunt Lynn that we went to see TSO and that Mom and I both knew since summer what Dad was getting, Aunt Lynn said that she bet it was hard for Mom to keep quiet. It was hard for her. It was even hard for me. And I was the one who decided to get the tickets and to keep it hush-hush. And then someone said something and I looked at Mom and she winked at me a couple of times because we knew what Dad was getting for Christmas. And it is still a secret between the both of us. All he knows is that his present is in an envelope. I told Mom just to pretend that it is another set of TSO tickets rather than Blue Man Group tickets.
I can't wait to see his face when he finds out he has BMG tickets. I think I'll have to give it to him when Sarah's not around so that she doesn't know that I've been getting tickets for only Mom, Dad, and me.
But yeah. Trans-Siberian Orchestra ROCKED!!!! We're already planning on going for another year. This time with Sarah and possibly Aunt Lynn and Bill. I don't care who else goes just so long as Mom, Dad, and I can go again.
Whoo-hoo!!! TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA!!!!!!!
On Saturday, December 3, 2011, Mom, Dad, and I went to Rosemont, Illinois to see TSO at the 3:00 P.M. (4:00 P.M. our time) show. I was so excited when it was the last week before the concert. On Friday night, I burned the "Christmas Eve & Other Stories" CD and added "Wizards in Winter" and "Requiem" to it. As soon as we left home and up to Rosemont and down to Aunt Lynn's and on the way home, we listened to both CDs ("Christmas Eve & Other Stories" and "The Christmas Attic") over and over again.
They played "Wizards in Winter," "Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 14/24," "Ornament," "Old City Bar," "Requiem" (with the music video playing on the screens), A Mad Russian's Christmas, and others that I know that I am forgetting. But still! At the beginning, they played a song that I never heard before but thought that it was awesome. Yesterday, when I looked for the song, it took me up to an hour to find it. When I found it, I could not stop listening to it. I am currently listening to it! The song is "Who I Am." There was another song that they played that I have never heard before. It was "Someday." It was sung by a woman and after it was kind of slow, it totally became a rock song.
The lights were so awesome. The laser screens, the lasers, the lights, the catwalk... All of the lights were awesome. Sure, at some parts it blinded you but it was totally worth it! I was afraid before the concert that throughout it all, Dad would be like, "Look at that light. Look at this one," rather than enjoying the thing.
And at the end of the songs at the beginning, Dad was only clapping. And I was thinking, Great. I spent $400 on tickets for TSO and he doesn't like it. But then when he first hollered at the end of one of the songs, I was like, Whew! Thank goodness! He is enjoying it! I didn't spend $400 on tickets. It was more like $365 but you get the idea.
Getting through Chicago was chaotic. It was backed up for a long time. Mom was complaining about it and I'm just sitting there while taking photos and not complaining because I knew that we would be going to go see TSO. After the concert, as we were driving past the Allstate Arena, Dad asked Mom if going through all of that traffic was well worth it. She said something and I thought, That doesn't answer his question. Then he said that it doesn't answer his question and she said yes.
After we left the Allstate Arena building, Dad said that it was one of the best Christmas presents he had received while he wrapped an arm around me to hug me because we were walking and he was holding onto Mom. I was so happy to hear that he quite enjoyed it. I am also glad that Mom quite enjoyed it herself.
When Dad told Aunt Lynn that we went to see TSO and that Mom and I both knew since summer what Dad was getting, Aunt Lynn said that she bet it was hard for Mom to keep quiet. It was hard for her. It was even hard for me. And I was the one who decided to get the tickets and to keep it hush-hush. And then someone said something and I looked at Mom and she winked at me a couple of times because we knew what Dad was getting for Christmas. And it is still a secret between the both of us. All he knows is that his present is in an envelope. I told Mom just to pretend that it is another set of TSO tickets rather than Blue Man Group tickets.
I can't wait to see his face when he finds out he has BMG tickets. I think I'll have to give it to him when Sarah's not around so that she doesn't know that I've been getting tickets for only Mom, Dad, and me.
But yeah. Trans-Siberian Orchestra ROCKED!!!! We're already planning on going for another year. This time with Sarah and possibly Aunt Lynn and Bill. I don't care who else goes just so long as Mom, Dad, and I can go again.
Whoo-hoo!!! TRANS-SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA!!!!!!!
Thursday, November 24, 2011
What "Family Traditions"??
Happy Thanksgiving, 2011!!
So, I am stuck in my room today. Why? Because our family tradition of sitting down together as a family (even while dinner is cooking) is ruined. Why? Because my mom is watching football. I just knew that I would be in my room today. I told Dad that only stupid families watch football and that we are not a stupid family. The thing is is that stupid families watch football rather than sit down together as a family and watch holiday movies together. And here my "family" is. Being a stupid family.
So, here I am, sitting on my bed, listening to Disturbed's Hell, and, okay, plain and simple, on the Internet. Yesterday, I figured that I would stay in my room all day unless it was necessary (such as getting something to eat or drink or whatever). Once again, I just knew that we wouldn't sit down together as a family.
Watch. At Christmas, we'll open our presents together and go our separate ways. No family time.
Great! I am on the verge of crying because we're not a family anymore. I bet everyone else in the family is sitting down together and doing things as a family.
Why is it that I am trying to preserve us as being a family? I mean, even during the normal year, I try to get us (at least Mom, Dad, and me) to sit down and enjoy a movie night together once in a while. But that has never happened. Amazingly, the only time the three of us will probably act as a normal family is when we go see Trans-Siberian Orchestra next weekend. All I want is for us to be a family rather than four individuals who happen to be living in the same house!
If I ever have a family of my own, there will absolutely be no football, no regular television, no computer access, no ANYTHING!! If we want to watch TV, we do it as a family and we watch holiday movies.
Why can't I have a family that has people who actually want to sit down together as a family and enjoy the holidays?
So, I am stuck in my room today. Why? Because our family tradition of sitting down together as a family (even while dinner is cooking) is ruined. Why? Because my mom is watching football. I just knew that I would be in my room today. I told Dad that only stupid families watch football and that we are not a stupid family. The thing is is that stupid families watch football rather than sit down together as a family and watch holiday movies together. And here my "family" is. Being a stupid family.
So, here I am, sitting on my bed, listening to Disturbed's Hell, and, okay, plain and simple, on the Internet. Yesterday, I figured that I would stay in my room all day unless it was necessary (such as getting something to eat or drink or whatever). Once again, I just knew that we wouldn't sit down together as a family.
Watch. At Christmas, we'll open our presents together and go our separate ways. No family time.
Great! I am on the verge of crying because we're not a family anymore. I bet everyone else in the family is sitting down together and doing things as a family.
Why is it that I am trying to preserve us as being a family? I mean, even during the normal year, I try to get us (at least Mom, Dad, and me) to sit down and enjoy a movie night together once in a while. But that has never happened. Amazingly, the only time the three of us will probably act as a normal family is when we go see Trans-Siberian Orchestra next weekend. All I want is for us to be a family rather than four individuals who happen to be living in the same house!
If I ever have a family of my own, there will absolutely be no football, no regular television, no computer access, no ANYTHING!! If we want to watch TV, we do it as a family and we watch holiday movies.
Why can't I have a family that has people who actually want to sit down together as a family and enjoy the holidays?
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Take-Out
GOD! I am so sick and tired of Pizza Hut. Every single time dad wants to get take-out, it is always Pizza Hut. The only time we get a variety is when mom is home (whether she has the day off or she goes and gets dinner after work). Although, with mom, there is never any real variety. It is always McDonald's.
So, with dad it is Pizza Hut. With mom, it is always McDonald's.
What about Burger King?! Or Subway?! Or Arby's?! Or what about KFC/Taco Bell?!
I mean, I do not care what we eat but I am sick and tired of eating the same thing every single time we get take-out. I am pretty sure steak or chicken or pork lovers would get sick and tired if they only ate steak or chicken or pork every single time they have dinner. I am pretty sure they would be like, "What about sausage or eggs or hot dogs or whatever else there is to eat?" I am pretty sure they would want a variety in there somewhere.
But apparently only with dad it is Pizza Hut and with mom it is McDonald's. BOOOOOORRRIIIIIINNNGGG!!!!!!
So, with dad it is Pizza Hut. With mom, it is always McDonald's.
What about Burger King?! Or Subway?! Or Arby's?! Or what about KFC/Taco Bell?!
I mean, I do not care what we eat but I am sick and tired of eating the same thing every single time we get take-out. I am pretty sure steak or chicken or pork lovers would get sick and tired if they only ate steak or chicken or pork every single time they have dinner. I am pretty sure they would be like, "What about sausage or eggs or hot dogs or whatever else there is to eat?" I am pretty sure they would want a variety in there somewhere.
But apparently only with dad it is Pizza Hut and with mom it is McDonald's. BOOOOOORRRIIIIIINNNGGG!!!!!!
The Latest on Alles Was Zählt
Written on October 10, 2011.
Late last week, I finally finished downloading the episodes to Alles Was Zählt. When I watched the episodes leading up to Roman's death and after on YouTube as I was getting the URLs, I started to bawl as usual. And then I watched Friday's episode and I was bawling again. I fear that for the last couple of weeks that I can watch AWZ on Youtube, I am going to be bawling. Deniz is taking it so hard.
When Florian sat some of Roman's things in a box on the kitchen counter, Deniz went to the box and picked up one thing after another and would be like, "This was his favorite shirt," or "He bought this when we went to the flea market," or whatever he said. When he was mentioning memories, I bawled. I think that he is going to have a hard time getting over Roman's death. Even I am going to have a hard time getting over his death whenever I watch those last episodes of him and those episodes where Deniz is suffering without Roman.
Oh! And from Friday's episode, I bawled the most I think. The reason is, because, after Deniz mentioned a few memories, Florian took Deniz to Roman's grave. Flo told him that he would give him a few minutes. Almost immediately, Deniz broke down. When he broke down, I broke down. Deniz told Roman that Roman had picked a beautiful spot. Deniz told him that he does not know how he is going to go on without him. It took me a few minutes to calm down after I finished the episode.
Late last week, I finally finished downloading the episodes to Alles Was Zählt. When I watched the episodes leading up to Roman's death and after on YouTube as I was getting the URLs, I started to bawl as usual. And then I watched Friday's episode and I was bawling again. I fear that for the last couple of weeks that I can watch AWZ on Youtube, I am going to be bawling. Deniz is taking it so hard.
When Florian sat some of Roman's things in a box on the kitchen counter, Deniz went to the box and picked up one thing after another and would be like, "This was his favorite shirt," or "He bought this when we went to the flea market," or whatever he said. When he was mentioning memories, I bawled. I think that he is going to have a hard time getting over Roman's death. Even I am going to have a hard time getting over his death whenever I watch those last episodes of him and those episodes where Deniz is suffering without Roman.
Oh! And from Friday's episode, I bawled the most I think. The reason is, because, after Deniz mentioned a few memories, Florian took Deniz to Roman's grave. Flo told him that he would give him a few minutes. Almost immediately, Deniz broke down. When he broke down, I broke down. Deniz told Roman that Roman had picked a beautiful spot. Deniz told him that he does not know how he is going to go on without him. It took me a few minutes to calm down after I finished the episode.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
The End of Deniz and Roman
Written on September 29.
Well, I was right about saying that I would most likely cry again when I watch Roman die. I finished watching the show on Tuesday. As soon as it was getting the last episode or two before Roman and Deniz go to the beach, I think I started crying at almost every moment (specifically when Roman collapses or something). When Roman said, "This is a good day to die," I started to cry. And then when Roman and Deniz were at the ice rink, obviously I cried. And all of the episodes that followed (including the latest one that was posted on YouTube on Monday or Tuesday) I cried. I probably spent a good half-hour, hour, maybe even up to an hour and a half just crying.
I am surprised that dad did not come in and ask what was going on. I was gasping for breath; I was crying out loud I think; and I kept sniffing. When I went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror, my eyes were puffy and my nose was red. I was surprised that dad or Sarah did not ask anything.
I cried when everyone cried; I cried when everyone watched their DVD that Roman had made for each of them; I cried when Roman (on the DVD) cried; I cried when Deniz went to the very spot on the beach that he and Roman had went; I cried all over the place.
I have already downloaded two videos on Deniz and Roman. Which reminds me... I watched the video where the people who play Deniz and Roman talked about Roman's death. The guy who plays Deniz said that in real life, he keeps himself separated from anything that has to deal with death. When the video showed them having to redo the scene, the guy either said s*** or f***. I do not remember which. I will tell you this: For being an actor who keeps himself away from death, he did an excellent job in portraying the emotions of Deniz. And I do not blame him. Because when I was getting off of the bed, I was like, "And this is why I don't want anything to do with death," or something like that.
It is very sad to know that Roman died and Deniz is all alone in the world. I am kind of really hoping for an early death for Deniz that way he could be with Roman. Like I have been saying in my other blogs: They really do deserve each other. They belong together. And they love each other very, very, very much.
Well, I was right about saying that I would most likely cry again when I watch Roman die. I finished watching the show on Tuesday. As soon as it was getting the last episode or two before Roman and Deniz go to the beach, I think I started crying at almost every moment (specifically when Roman collapses or something). When Roman said, "This is a good day to die," I started to cry. And then when Roman and Deniz were at the ice rink, obviously I cried. And all of the episodes that followed (including the latest one that was posted on YouTube on Monday or Tuesday) I cried. I probably spent a good half-hour, hour, maybe even up to an hour and a half just crying.
I am surprised that dad did not come in and ask what was going on. I was gasping for breath; I was crying out loud I think; and I kept sniffing. When I went into the bathroom and looked into the mirror, my eyes were puffy and my nose was red. I was surprised that dad or Sarah did not ask anything.
I cried when everyone cried; I cried when everyone watched their DVD that Roman had made for each of them; I cried when Roman (on the DVD) cried; I cried when Deniz went to the very spot on the beach that he and Roman had went; I cried all over the place.
I have already downloaded two videos on Deniz and Roman. Which reminds me... I watched the video where the people who play Deniz and Roman talked about Roman's death. The guy who plays Deniz said that in real life, he keeps himself separated from anything that has to deal with death. When the video showed them having to redo the scene, the guy either said s*** or f***. I do not remember which. I will tell you this: For being an actor who keeps himself away from death, he did an excellent job in portraying the emotions of Deniz. And I do not blame him. Because when I was getting off of the bed, I was like, "And this is why I don't want anything to do with death," or something like that.
It is very sad to know that Roman died and Deniz is all alone in the world. I am kind of really hoping for an early death for Deniz that way he could be with Roman. Like I have been saying in my other blogs: They really do deserve each other. They belong together. And they love each other very, very, very much.
Alles Was Zählt
Written on September 27
So, the latest with me and Alles Was Zählt is that I am in the 1,200 episode range. I think around 1,228 or so. I got so far in one day because about one hundred episodes were missing.
I saw the episode where Roman tells Deniz that he has a brain tumor. But before that, in the episode I finally got to start watching again (after the huge break), I found out that Deniz slep with some lady. Roman broke up with him, and Deniz moved out. So anyway, Roman collapsed and was taken to the hospital. When he got back to his office, come to find out, he has a tumor. Actually, you do not find out what happened to him until he tells Deniz. As he is trying to tell him, he is crying. When he finally tells him, Deniz is in shock. End of the episode.
At the beginning of the next epiosde, Deniz cries with Roman, and they hug each other. And then later on, Roman says that he can't stand Deniz being there (in the flat (Deniz moved back in so that he could watch over Roman)). Deniz gives Roman the key and shuts the door (which is locked). You see (and Deniz hears) Roman collapse onto the floor. After a minute or two trying, Deniz busts open the door and gets Roman to sit up. Roman starts to cry and tells him that either he does not want to die or he is scared to die to which Deniz responds by holding him. End of that episode. Trust me when I say that I was crying when Roman and Deniz were crying. I gasped whenever I would see Roman start to lose his balance.
I hope that Deniz and Roman get back together before Roman dies. I think that I am going to cry again when I see Roman die. I just with that they would have told each other that they love each other rather than Deniz being like, "It's okay. It's going to be all right," over and over again. I mean, it is almost the same exact thing as Jack and Ianto. Ianto told Jack that he loved him and they talked about Jack remembering him or not. With Deniz and Roman, it was not said at all. Just that everything was going to be okay.
Oh, which reminds me, yesterday, when I was in class before it started, I watched clips from the last episode in which it shows Florian. When he was talking to the funeral home manager and when Florian was upset at parts, I was crying. I was crying at school!
But back to Deniz and Roman... Like I said, I hope that they get together before Roman dies. They deserve each other after all of the crap that they have been through (cheating, someone having to leave for work, et cetera). Especially now that they need each other. Roman deserves it. He deserves to be with Deniz one more time.
So, the latest with me and Alles Was Zählt is that I am in the 1,200 episode range. I think around 1,228 or so. I got so far in one day because about one hundred episodes were missing.
I saw the episode where Roman tells Deniz that he has a brain tumor. But before that, in the episode I finally got to start watching again (after the huge break), I found out that Deniz slep with some lady. Roman broke up with him, and Deniz moved out. So anyway, Roman collapsed and was taken to the hospital. When he got back to his office, come to find out, he has a tumor. Actually, you do not find out what happened to him until he tells Deniz. As he is trying to tell him, he is crying. When he finally tells him, Deniz is in shock. End of the episode.
At the beginning of the next epiosde, Deniz cries with Roman, and they hug each other. And then later on, Roman says that he can't stand Deniz being there (in the flat (Deniz moved back in so that he could watch over Roman)). Deniz gives Roman the key and shuts the door (which is locked). You see (and Deniz hears) Roman collapse onto the floor. After a minute or two trying, Deniz busts open the door and gets Roman to sit up. Roman starts to cry and tells him that either he does not want to die or he is scared to die to which Deniz responds by holding him. End of that episode. Trust me when I say that I was crying when Roman and Deniz were crying. I gasped whenever I would see Roman start to lose his balance.
I hope that Deniz and Roman get back together before Roman dies. I think that I am going to cry again when I see Roman die. I just with that they would have told each other that they love each other rather than Deniz being like, "It's okay. It's going to be all right," over and over again. I mean, it is almost the same exact thing as Jack and Ianto. Ianto told Jack that he loved him and they talked about Jack remembering him or not. With Deniz and Roman, it was not said at all. Just that everything was going to be okay.
Oh, which reminds me, yesterday, when I was in class before it started, I watched clips from the last episode in which it shows Florian. When he was talking to the funeral home manager and when Florian was upset at parts, I was crying. I was crying at school!
But back to Deniz and Roman... Like I said, I hope that they get together before Roman dies. They deserve each other after all of the crap that they have been through (cheating, someone having to leave for work, et cetera). Especially now that they need each other. Roman deserves it. He deserves to be with Deniz one more time.
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